31 Weeks

I've been a very bad blogger.

My apologies to all who follow this path with me. I have no excuse other than that I've been nesting, both at home and at work, just trying to get everything in order before the real adventure begins.

I guess I should give you all a status report.

I am 31 weeks and 1 day today. I weigh more than I care to ever admit but the doctor seems to think I'm just fine. No pre-e or gd but my knees are still gone. Yeah, the swelling's out of control. The funny thing is that I get up in the morning and it's not so bad, but 10 minutes on my feet and the swelling's back. Crazy!

I'm still strugglin' with the 'flux so I've taken to sleeping on the couch most nights. I find it's easier for me to stay propped up the whole night and I don't end up having to move around as much. It seems to be working. At least I'm getting more than an hour or two of sleep.

I have barely any appetite. I pretty much hate food right now. I eat, of course. But even the thought of eating sends me into an emotional tailspin. I've had very few cravings over the course of my pregnancy so not wanting anything in particular is not new. I do like ice though. And the orange Hi-C drinks from McDonald's, which, by the way, I usually never drink. I think the heartburn and acid reflux have just done a number on me. Oh well. Maybe it's a good thing. I've gained as much as I should gain anyway.

Let's see, what else? Hmmm... Oh, I've developed a ridiculous case of restless leg syndrome and it's driving me CRAZY!!

AARRGGHH!

I hate it. It's honestly more than I can stand and I hope and pray it goes away once the baby comes.

Other than that, it looks like everything's on track. I have a few baby showers coming up so I'll post about them when the time comes, and my mom has finalized her plans for a visit once the baby gets here. Actually she and my aunt are both coming and I'm really looking forward to it.

So that's where I'm at. I'm working on another post about all the nesting I've been doing, etc. I'll try to get that posted as soon as it's finished.

I hope all my bloggie-friends are doing well. Please know I've been following along, even though I haven't posted much at all.

Take care & talk soon.

m

Anxious

So I'm strugglin' a bit.

I know how blessed I am and how long I waited to be so blessed. I truly appreciate the gift of love that's growing inside me, and I'm grateful for every day I have with him.

But I'm soooo anxious.

I know many moms-to-be get antsy toward the end of their pregnancy. They pray for the end to come quickly so they can hold their babies in their arms and get on with the business of being a mom.

But I want it to be over now.

That sounds so terrible, I know. Again, it's not that I don't appreciate and savor the fact that I'm such an important part of this miracle of life. It's not that I don't thank God every night for being able to spend yet another day with my lil chip.

But pregnancy is hard.

It's not the joyfest I thought it was going to be. Sure I have a glow about me, but it's from not being able to breathe right, not from some light emanating from within. And yeah, there's that big, beautiful bump I have now. But I've also got bigger feet, a bigger backside and my thighs are now on a first-name basis. Trust me, they barely knew each other before.

And what about the reflux?

ACID REFLUX.

I literally woke up from a coma the other night because I was choking on bile that had surfaced while I slept.

LOVE. IT.

Seriously, I feel bad about not enjoying this pregnancy more. I wish I were having a better time of it, and I realize that I probably have it better than some. I will say that being able to feel my baby boy kick and roll over and hiccup keeps me from totally losing it because I can't bend over or walk fast or sleep laying down.

The truth is that I wouldn't trade any of this for the world. I'm going to have a baby.

I'M HAVING A BABY.

NOW I'm anxious.